Wednesday, June 20, 2007

MEANWHILE AT THE MOVIES... Fantastic Four 2 Rise of the... MEH!

Well, mixed reviews abound for the second installment of the lukewarm first family of super heroes franchise, but despite having a love/hate relationship with the first, I still love the Fantastic Four (they're the first superhero comic I ever picked up) and regardless of the dreadful meter peaking on the original installment I still really enjoyed it.
Many a write-ups found the second much better than the first, most agree it was still vapid, mindless, or bad, but better to downright good, so I'd held out hope.
As with the utterly bland Ghost Rider movie, I'll probably get a kick out of it once I've gotten the expectations and hopes off the table, but right now, post viewing, I'm not impressed.
There was stuff to like, the family dynamic, some of the action scenes, the Surfer, but there was plenty that missed, like all but about 3 jokes?
And we just saw X-Men in the woods, did we really need FF in the woods?
The brunt of what's wrong is on the studio, and the director.
For as much that Story gets right, he gets wrong, but I suspect Fox, with their mishandling of comic book franchises is more to blame here. They seem to have a, "It's gonna sell, do it cheap, and get it done" approach...

Lame set pieces, superheroes walking around the forest, crappy music...
And I'll never understand what bean counter numb-nuts approves the craptastic Thing?!?
The hope was with a sequel, they'd at least improve Chiklis' make-up.
Memo to Fox, the Surfer sells, literally and figuratively, and he's pure CG, get the Thing some help on FF3!!!
Oh, and while I'm sending memo's to Fox execs, FUCK!! Quit turning cool mega-sized villains into clouds and severed-head danger-room holograms!!! Go the fuck all out and spend some cash to make this shit off the cool meter and you'll reap bigger stacks of ticket stubs. Don't take the puss-out route, go all out, and make these movies the widescreen orgasms they deserve to be!!!

Oh wait, us comic fans still go and see them don't we?
And buy the DVD's?!?!
They're right, they've got us, they can neuter this shit all they want and still make a bundle.
If only Peter Parker were a Fox exec heeding poor dead ol' Uncle Ben's advice...

7 out of 10
but if I gotta go with a thumb vote, you get nadda!


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